Blog Assignment 2 "Dreams"

What is the nature of dreams?

Do you believe in coincidence?

How is memory like a dream?

Dreams are freakishly personal, like a kaleidoscope for your third eye. Mine are vivid, full of color, sound, music, dialogue, and feeling. They remain my memory for years. It's bizarre how I can remember dreams I had as a 6 year old on to 27 years old but I can not remember things that actually happened to me a week ago or whole movies I saw within the last 48 hours. That probably is some neurological damage speaking loud and clear. Either way...I sort of like it like that. My dreams are much more interesting. Not practical at all, but interesting.

I used to keep a dream journal from 6th grade on to 8th. My devil-mother threw it out when I moved to go college. Either way I had a rave with Batman and Robin inside a pyramid, I parked a cartoon shuttle into my regular-sized garage, I found clues with a creepy gnome man inside a swamp-theater, and I raced trains across the sky by simply willing myself forward. My dreams are vivid. The older they get, and they take on a fuzzy quality now. The closest I can relate to how they "look" is old VHS film that was not properly stored over the years. My nightmares are truly terrifying, and I admittedly am afraid of the dark because of them. At some darker points in my life, I hated sleep because of the waking night--terrors. I ride slow canoes over foreign Styx rivers where small people are bound with wire in twisted up positions and moan out to me, but can not reach, they just stare out, a mass of limbs and frightened eyes. In some of my scariest dreams I was told I had to find the un-findeable or else I would die (usually pieces of Lego's, usually 5 or 7, hidden anywhere in the world), and I felt like I was floating, a bit bloated and unreal, and I would wake up in a panic. It was the darkest, most neurotic reaches of my mind turned inside out. 

What I noticed when I compared my dreams to things that did happen, things to come, and my own feelings, is dreams were a decoupage of all of the latter. They were a mental tapestry of my mind's interpretation of the past, present, and future. With a bad ass soundtrack every now and then. 

I get to see people that have been dead at times in my dreams. It is bittersweet, frustrating, and haunting when i wake up. I miss them and I don't. 

I do believe in fate because the mathematics and schematics of life add up too well to be coincidence, but I can create a coincidence if need be. Fate isn't so easily created. Fate is extremely complex in so much that a person can live every moment of their life in decisions and meet with a person years later who has made very similar and equally timed decisions in their life as if in parallel to the other person. They were meant to meet, obviously, because they met! But the challenges, options, and "coincidences" leading up to them meeting were two completely separate planes of reality, unaware of the others' existence. It's absolutely beautiful. 

My memory is a bit tortured because of the brain damage I've suffered, so my dreams are starker than my memories. As I've explained above, I remember my dreams much easier, and even when I had them as opposed to my actual life that i live out. It might be the emotional impact each dream has because of how vivid, brutal, or amazing they can be like a slight misfire of my mind, but life is about learning. I will learn to remember better, and possibly dream even harder...if that's even possible.